ponedjeljak, 22. listopada 2007.

Spider Pig

SPIDER PIG, SPIDER PIG, does whatever a SPIDER PIG does! Can he swing, from a web? No, he can't, he's a pig! LOOK OOOUUUTTT!!! He is a SPIDER PIG!!

click for larger image

subota, 29. rujna 2007.

Chris Rock about Rap Music

Chris Rock at its best: Stand up Comedy about society, daily Life, America and Relationship.
Here hes talking about how hard it is to defend Rap Music and Hip Hop today.
Also mentioned: Tupac, Little John...

Bad Luck

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to senses, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"

"What dear?" She asked gently.

"I think you bring me bad luck".

Steven Spielberg Quotes

He reminded me a little of Walt Disney's version of a mad scientist.
-- (on Star Wars Director George Lucas)

The most expensive habit in the world is celluloid, not heroin, and I need a fix every few years.
-- (Time, 1979)

Why pay a dollar for a bookmark? Why not use the dollar for a bookmark?
I dream for a living.

Once a month the sky falls on my head, I come to, and I see another movie I want to make.
Failure is inevitable. Success is elusive.

Robin Williams Quotes

Spielberg is so powerful he had final cut at his own circumsision.

Ballet: Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are.

[Before opening an envelope for best supporting actress]
I feel like Adam when he said to Eve, `Back up, I don't know how big this gets`
-- (at the 71st Academy Awards)

[on Michael Jackson]
Honey, you gotta pick a race first. All of a sudden you're a black man, then you're Diana Ross, now you're Audrey Hepburn. Then he's got the little beard going on. He's like Lord Of The Rings, the entire cast. Michael's about to jump species.

Ah...so many pedestrians, so little time...

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
-- (from Mork and Mindy)

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

Woody Allen Quotes

The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child.

I am an only child. I have one sister.

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?

I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
-- (Hollywood Ending, 2002)

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.
-- (Hollywood Ending, 2002)

The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty.
-- (Crimes and Misdemeanors, 1989)

Bill Cosby Quotes

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap on-a-rope.

A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

When you become senile, you won't know it.

Albert Einstein Quotes

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all art and science.

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.

If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.

Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

Example isn't another way to teach, it is the only way to teach.

Human beings, vegetables, or comic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible player.

Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism -how passionately I hate them!

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.

srijeda, 19. rujna 2007.

ponedjeljak, 10. rujna 2007.

Funny oops 3

subota, 8. rujna 2007.

Believe It Or Not 3

The average human eats eight spiders in their lifetime at night.

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth 2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.

The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."

The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.

The sentence, "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English language.

The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.

The word racecar and kayak are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left.

There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

You are more likely to be killed by a Champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.

You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

You share your birthday with at least nine million other people in the world.

Rowan Atkinson Live: Welcome To Hell

Rowan Atkinson's sketch about the Devil Welcoming People to Hell.

Funny, strange and cool houses 1

petak, 7. rujna 2007.

Believe It Or Not! 2

If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn white.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.

In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

Marilyn Monroe had six toes.

Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.

No word in the English language rhymes with month.

Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.

On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the '30s lobbied against hemp farmers, they saw it as competition.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.

Shakespeare invented the word "assassination" and "bump."

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

Starfish haven't got brains.

Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

Top Ten George W. Bush Moments

David Letterman's Top Ten Bush Moments from the White House Correspondents Dinner, April 21, 2007.

Funny oops 2